Phoenix
by whyarealltheusernamestaken
Summary: Stoic, strong, reasonable, those were traits they both shared. They weren't supposed to meet each other, something so unplanned wasn't supposed to hurt this much, and her secret urge that she has suppressed all these years... wasn't supposed to explode.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: If I owned Shingeki no Kyojin, there would be a lot less Levi x Eren fans (ahaha, I don't mean anything to Levi x Eren fans, they are cute.)**

**Warning: Anything you want to expect from a M rated bit of scribbles. (I **_**might**_** put some sexual content later on)**

Chapter 1 (Because I can't for the life of me find how to set a 'prologue' on this website)

She didn't owe anybody a single damn, fucking thing.

She was there because she wanted to be an older sister, maybe even a parental figure, even if nobody else understood, as long as she did, that was okay. Maybe at first, when they met as kids, she might have had a crush on him, but that was it. Romance was not a part of his system, neither was it a part of hers. People forget these feelings, especially if they have never even experienced them. It did not take long for that slight bit of childish attraction to turn into their everlasting bond, even she was not quite sure what it was. It was stronger than that little crush, and too overwhelming to be family, and not heart-pounding enough to be _amour_.

They were more than that.

Nobody was more important to her than Eren, that was simply the way it was. Even if everything was over, even if they all went separate ways at the end, made their own families, with their own spouses and children, she would still leave anybody and betray anything if it was for the good of Eren. Nobody else could be the same.

Sure, Eren did not understand her, then again, who did? She was sure that Armin had a general idea, but even the intelligent blond could not for the life of him guess the truth behind something that even Mikasa did not understand. Though at the very least, most of everybody that has seen her, even hopeless airheads like Sasha would understand that _nobody_ comes between Mikasa and Eren, _nobody._

So why did this short-ass bastard pretend that he could?

"Don't just stand there." The 'short-ass bastard' muttered. He was sitting down, one of his legs wrapped and gingerly placed on another chair, his right arm propped on the arm of the chair and he rested the left side of his face on his fist.

"Yes sir." She said quietly, but clearly, dark coal like eyes not betraying any emotions that she may have.

Along with himself and a few selected people, she has been ordered to be on standby instead of her previous relay duty… away from Eren, who would be with Commander Irvin.

"Why?" She uttered softly, though her tone was not that of a question, but of a command.

Rivaille shifted his glance from a spot on the wall to her dark, glassy orbs, and sighed.

"Because I lost my squad." Seeing that his explanation did not seem to relate to her actual unvoiced question, he continued in the same annoyed expression.

"We will still be protecting him. The titans, if Pixis is correct, will move in through the front." He waved his spare hand in a nonchalant way, "By staying in the centre, we will fall back and meet with Jaëger."

Having her own question answered, and not bothering with any other questions that rose in her mind, she nodded and sat down in the seat across from him.

After a few minutes of dead silence, Rivaille once again looked back to gaze at her complexion, "Is there anything you want to inform me of?"

She lowered her own eyes to look at him, "No, sir."

"… I see."

Neither wanted to break the silence any further, it was somewhat comfortable, mainly due to the fact that neither had anything to say, and both were too absorbed in their own worlds, but also completely aware of each other.

She wondered what he wanted to hear, that she was not happy with him? That she was not at all thankful to him for saving her? That since forever, she has always had the urge to _hurt_ somebody… anybody…

Rivaille, deciding he has had enough of communicating with someone with as little words as Mikasa (the hypocrite…), decided that he was going to up to bed and have some sleep.

Thanks to the immediate medical attention, his leg seemed to be coping well, though Rivaille had thought that the person who was partially responsible for it, who sat across from him, would at least offer a word of help as he struggled out of his seat. Nevertheless, Mikasa did not even bother looking at her superior.

_Kids today have no respect for the elderly_ he thought, not exactly annoyed, but not amused either.

"Am I to assume that the Lance Corporal is one of 'the elderly' then?" Rivaille swung around his neck to peer at her, an eyebrow arched slightly; he had voiced his comment without realizing it.

"Are you being cheeky, Ackerman?"

There was a loud scrape of chair and Mikasa stood up, her eyes unwavering as she stared at the space in front of her… which happened to be above Rivaille's head.

"No Sir! It was an honest question, Sir!"

Unimpressed by their difference in height, Rivaille cast one more disdainful look at her, wondering if she was amused, though he would be lying if he said he was annoyed. It was… light, and he would not mind having her company again.

As he walked and semi-limped to the door, he turned around, holding onto the frame for support, "and no, I would not assume myself to be elderly."

"Then, would you like some help, Sir?" She continued, her gaze still straight ahead, and equally dull. Though Rivaille could swear on his mother's grave they were perhaps a shade brighter than before.

He turned back around, "No, unless you want to take a shit with me."

**(A/N) Any corrections and random errors you found especially regarding content that do not match would be awesome! Anything else would be awesome too!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, there were actual responses! That's awesome, thank you Isa-chan for being the first commenter. I'm grateful for all you commenters and the followers, it's somewhat reassuring. Thank you for all the other people that commented as well, it was nice reading them.**

**Meeee: yes, you're right, it was supposed to 'owe' not 'own', I changed it! Thank you for pointing it out!**

**Invernam: thank you for offering! My grammar is off quite a bit…**

**To everyone that liked the last line… I have to admit, it was the fun-est part to write for me!**

**Warning: Language**

**I call 'Rivaille' 'Levi' actually, so sometimes in the fic, I might write 'Levi' instead of 'Rivaille' by accident. **

Chapter 2

She clenched her fist together and bit her upper teeth down onto her lower ones until the urge subsided. The attack went longer than usual, and she hoped no one (the only other person in the room) noticed her sudden tension.

Well… even if he did, he did not say anything.

Mikasa had somehow ended up in the same room as the short-ass bastard again.

_I need Sasha…_ she thought to herself, exerting strength onto her teeth again. The torment was always there, on the back of her mind, like a dull fire, constantly burning, sometimes stronger than others.

Her heart started to pound, each second seemed to drag out, and she wished her fire would burn to ashes already.

The man in front of her started dull, her vision was giving away, and so was her patience, the attack did not subside, it came in waves, each one stronger than the other. She needed to get out the room before she did something she would regret…

In her desperation, she tried to plan her escape, but before she could utter the word, the man moved out of his seat and started towards the door.

As soon as the door closed, Mikasa snapped a shaky arm up to her mouth and bit the sleeve hard while her other hand clutched to the red scarf, strangling herself. After a few moments that felt like the some of the longest seconds in her life, and when she knew it was safe, she raced out, faster than she usually walked, but slower than a run.

_Sasha…_

(*)

Rivaille stared at the girl's retreating figure and leaned into the wall. He almost smirked; she did not even notice him as she charged out, slamming the door in his face. Well, it was a bad idea standing behind the door.

Did she really hate him that much? Was standing in the same room so difficult for her? He wasn't quite sure he understood her, not how she felt, though he did feel a slight twinge at his heart. Despite how he might appear, Rivaille still did not want Mikasa to _hate_ him. They weren't strangers, but nor were they particularly close to be called friends. Perhaps they could be called acquaintances, but not quite. All he knew was that she caught his attention, and that he paid her much more consciousness to her than he should.

He refused to acknowledge that feeling.

Mikasa was interesting, most people would agree with him. Though the thought of Rivaille being too interested in anything was somewhat shocking. Besides, the talk now had shifted from Mikasa Ackerman to her brother, Eren Jaëger.

As embarrassing as it was, he even had the strangest dream of her. Which he did not think could happen. Mind you, he was not in love with her, it was pure interest, like a young boy with a new toy he had never seen before. Besides, the dream was not exactly explicit, though she was bleeding, maybe dying. Rivaille was not quite sure.

When he woke up, his room felt cold.

(*)

"Thank you, Sasha," Mikasa murmured, "and sorry."

The potato-girl pouted, and then smiled, "Don't worry! Don't worry! I'm fine, this is way better than running laps!"

"And if you tell anybody about this…"

"Yeah, yeah I know, you'll skin me alive." Sasha laughed, waving off Mikasa's threats.

The black haired girl shook her head, "that wasn't what I was going to say." She said quietly, "I was going to say that I would dissect you piece by piece and that I was going to keep you alive while I was doing so."

Her tone was so cold and surreal that Sasha felt herself pale instantly as her lip twitched, and she somehow forced out an awkward chuckle.

Though as Mikasa put on her scarf and started to leave her room, Sasha grabbed her wrist.

Mikasa turned around, her coal dark eyes meeting Sasha's coffee ones, which were frowning very slightly.

"Wait," she muttered urgently, "come back to me if it happens again."

Mikasa looked at her up and down, and Sasha pulled the bed covers a little closer towards her to hide her nakedness.

With a curt nod, Mikasa left the auburn haired girl alone in her bedroom, feeling much lighter. It was guilty pleasure, minus the guilty part. Each time, Mikasa tells herself it would be the last time she resorted to Sasha's offer and convenient knowledge. Mikasa knew better than to use her like this. Except she could no longer help herself, the same way that Sasha lost control. They were both using each other for their needs, though under the happy wrappings, it was obvious that Sasha wanted more from Mikasa. It was something that Mikasa could not give

And she knew, as Sasha knew, that she was lying to herself.

(*)

"Eren," Mikasa tilted her head, amused at the boy working away at a little wooden box

"Waah! Mikasa!" The boy tumbled from the chair and fell on his back, dropping the little wooden box in his hand, which Mikasa caught with ease, her eyes filled with amusement.

"Don't scare me like that!" He muttered, larimar orbs annoyed as he propped himself back up, taking the box hastily from Mikasa, then putting it back onto the table and covering it with a piece of cloth.

Mikasa's eyes narrowed slightly, but nodded, "I just wanted to tell you to be careful, on the next one."

Staring into his foster sister's eyes, he nodded solemnly, "Yeah… I know…" He sighed and tore his gaze from Mikasa to his empty tray of food, "it's all gone…" he whined, moving his hand to his still empty stomach.

Mikasa rummaged herself, and took out a long piece of French break, leaving Eren wide eyed.

"What sorta sorcery is that? Where did you even hide that thing?" He exclaimed, searching Mikasa up and down, trying to find a place in her skin-tight clothing that would accommodate the bread. He found none.

"Is this really okay? What about you?"

Mikasa shook her head at his tone, "Don't worry about me."

Eren rolled his eyes in exasperation, _don't worry about me, just carry on with yourself, call me if you ever need me, _those were all Mikasa ever said to him these days. It was getting tiring, and frankly, Eren had enough of this treatment. Despite how it may seem, _he_ was the older one.

"Well then, good night, Eren, and sleep early." She waved, a faint smile on her face as Eren's hand hovered over the covered box.

He was much too obvious.

"Yeah, go sleep Mikasa, uh… yeah."

As soon as the girl left, Eren chugged the whole length of the bread in his mouth, almost gagging himself in the process. He proceeded to tending the little wooden box, sitting back down on the bench, which would be his home for the next few hours until the break of dawn.

(*)

"I wouldn't be going with you, this time." Sasha murmured, her eyes darting from Mikasa to the area around her, searching for any whisper... any blink of an eye that meant someone was watching their conversation.

The raven-haired girl stared back and blinked, "I see." She whispered softly.

Sasha frowned, her eyes filled with worry, "Mikasa, we need to tell somebody, if I'm not going to be with you… somebody _needs_ to know!"

Silently, the other clenched her hands together behind her back, digging her nails into the flesh of her palms.

"No." She said finally, "that would be out of the question."

"But Mikasa! You are leaving tomorrow! You can't afford to-"

As Sasha started to talk, Mikasa quickly unwrapped the red scarf around her neck gingerly and tossed it onto her desk, and then locked her lips onto Sasha's, silencing her. Mikasa kept her hands behind herself, and slowly, they unclenched.

"Then, I'll just take what I need now." She whispered quietly, her voice low and controlled, but her orbs glowed dangerously at Sasha, whose lips hung open, puffs of breath landing on Mikasa's own moist lips.

Suddenly, the door burst open without warning, and Rivaille stepped in as the two broke apart.

His eyes only held the faintest look of surprise while Sasha waved her arms around, her face still red and lips glossed over with her own and Mikasa's saliva.

"Lance Corporal! We… I… it… I…Mikasa… it wasn't…"

Rivaille held up a hand, "whatever your hobbies are, I can't care less." He gestured at Mikasa, "I need to talk to you."

Briskly, she rose from her bed and grabbed her blood red scarf and wrapped it around her quickly. The feeling of not having the scarf on left her feeling worse than being naked, which she was not. She pulled it slightly tighter than she usually does, feeling the fabric all around her bare skin. It was like having a small piece of Eren around her.

"Sorry for the wait, sir." She said clearly, her eyes betraying nothing of her little affair moments before while Sasha shifted from foot to foot, her face still as red as a tomato.

Rivaille didn't understand her, not one bit. It doesn't make any sense to him at all why the oriental was snogging potato-girl, maybe Eren, or even that short blond kid, but not potato-girl. Not once has he noted anything odd between them, the two were barely friends. Though he would admit, he knew little about the teenager except that she had an enormous brother complex and was exceptionally good at mostly everything.

The trip from Mikasa's room to the meeting room was long, though neither spoke a word.

"The reason I interrupted you from your activities, was that I wanted you to meet the rest of the soldiers with whom you will be working with." He muttered shortly before brushing his way past the door and allowing Mikasa to follow after him.

Mikasa recognized only one of the faces, she did not know any of them well, except that they were all experienced soldiers.

Of the two other people in the room, both were male. One was tall and slender, and the other was rather short, his build reminded her of Armin, except he had bright blue eyes and rather spiky, brown hair.

"None of you are a part of my squad." Rivaille declared, his voice quiet and low, but enough for everything to hear.

The short one laughed, his bright blue eyes twinkling, "You make it sound like I want to be a part of this joke."

Rivaille stared at him, "However, you are all under my command until further notice."

The boy's laughter died away slowly, though he was still chortling silently, "I don't want to end up sliced up like Petra." Despite his laughter, his voice was ice cold, chilling the room several degrees.

Mikasa whipped her eyes at him, his eyes had narrowed, and were practically murdering Rivaille with daggers.

"I can't think of anybody that would." The corporal said, meeting his gaze steadily, the same annoyed and disdainful expression on his face.

Almost reflexively, Mikasa felt the urge tugging at the back of her mind again, and she bit down on her tongue, trying to distract herself. Sasha was right, it would be difficult, but she still had one more night. She would make sure to exploit all of Sasha's sympathy or whatever tonight, so that when morning comes, her mind could be clear again.

"Bitch." The spiky haired man muttered, resting his head on the wooden table.

The corporal sighed, he really did not want to resort to this, "Listen now, dipshit." He muttered at the figure lying on the table, "I don't give a crap at what you call me or whatever your skinny ass can squeeze out, if your skinny ass can even squeeze out anything, though I would have you know that you would be in a much better shape if you understood that I am a bitch, but not _your_ bitch."

Mikasa blinked; then again, Rivaille's mouth never did match his appearance.

(*)

When morning came, Mikasa left Sasha's sleeping figure covered with a blanket. She then went back to her own room, waiting for the knock that would come at any moment.

_Knock knock._

And it did.

"Come in." She called, and hesitantly, the door opened.

"Don't you lock your door?" Eren's voice complained after he awkwardly closed the door with one hand, the other behind his back.

Equally awkwardly, he made his way towards Mikasa's bed, making sure she could not see what was hiding behind his back.

"Um, well…" Eren scratched his cheek and diverted his eyes from Mikasa's gaze, "Today's the big day, but… it's also your birthday."

He swallowed some saliva, obviously embarrassed, "Every year, all my presents to you have been a huge disaster…" he continued, laughing uncomfortably.

Mikasa shook her head and laid one hand on Eren's thigh, "I liked them." She murmured stubbornly while the boy sighed.

"Mikasa, I set your closet on fire, remember?"

"But the fireworks were still pretty."

"They were inside the house and almost killed us!"

Mikasa tilted her head, a faint smile playing on the corners of her lips.

"Well, this year, I didn't want to mess up again, so… so I got you this." From behind his back, he placed a small red wooden box on Mikasa's lap. The corners weren't quite at 90 degrees and the shape wasn't quite square, but Mikasa liked it anyways.

"You know, this is when you open it and then hug me." Eren muttered acidly, pointing at the box.

At Eren's urge, Mikasa complied, flipping open the box with her thumb.

Inside, was an orange and red bird with its wings spread out confidently. Mikasa felt the details of the feathers with her fingers, her eyes slightly wider than before. She allowed her heart to overflow with emotions for a second at the thought that her foster brother cared about him almost as much as she cared about him. It was different, but it was comforting to know that someone shared her emotions.

"It's… beautiful." She managed out, holding the bird in one hand with prudence and closing the gap between them, hugging Eren around his neck, her emotions easily readable as she smiled childishly at the small wooden bird.

Caught comfortably off-guard, Eren hugged her back, his hands behind her back.

"It's a phoenix," He said in her ear, "Connie taught me how to do it, since I was really bad at it, haha… but it turned out okay, I think."

"It's perfect." She said again, her words blowing into the crook of Eren's neck.

They both smiled simultaneously, "Happy sixteenth, Mikasa."

(*)

Rivaille examined his leg, it looked fine, it felt okay, he was going to be fine.

_Yeah, right._

At least he could try to not break it again while it was so weak.

Leaning back into his chair, his thoughts drifted once again to that girl. He didn't understand her. At first, he just thought she was a hopeless bro-con with too much time on her hands. Then, he thought maybe she had more to him than just 'bro-con', maybe it was downright incest, though again, he doubted even Mikasa would be stupid enough to like Eren Jaëger, the boy was hopeless. Just when he thought he had his suspicions confirmed, this potato-girl enters and messes everything up again! What was potato-girl to Mikasa anyway? A lover? A mistress, perhaps? Well, lesbians weren't uncommon amongst the soldiers, neither were gays. Maybe Mikasa was just bisexual.

That wasn't such a bad thought.

Or, she was an underground prostitute sent up to claim the hearts of soldiers and selling them to the titans.

Rivaille wanted to laugh.

Just as he was getting comfortable, there was a loud crash on the other side of his door. He arched a brow.

Just as he was about to ignore it, potato-girl burst into his room rubbing her forehead while painful tears started to form behind her eyes. Seeing Rivaille's expression, she snuck back to the door and closed it shut and locked it.

"Please Corporal, I need your help!"

**The reason that I skipped the scene with Sasha and Mikasa in the dead of the night was… well, you can guess.**


	3. Chapter 3

3

"Eren! That's too dangerous, no matter how you look at it!"

"I know! But what other choices do I have?"

Mikasa held her breath and closed her eyes.

Eren was planning something again, something dangerous, and he hasn't bothered to tell her. She stood her ground, hiding behind the door of Eren's closet. The mission starts in a few hours, and she would be damned if Eren was going to do something she did not know of.

"This is crazy… I didn't want you to actually consider it…" The blond shook his head, his ice blue eyes wide with fear and exasperation at his childhood friend. "It was just a sudden idea, the success rate is unbelievably low-"

"Well then, come up with something better!" Eren roared, and the blond tensed at his friend's crazed expression, his voice hoarse and his chest heaving. Eren was no less frightened than Armin.

"I'm… sorry…" He whispered, crumbling to his knees, his hands on his face, though through the cracks between his fingers, his wild eyes tearful.

"Armin… I didn't mean to…" The boy crouched down, frowning at the blond, regret from hurting his friend hitting him guiltily.

Mikasa chose this moment to appear in front of the two, her narrow eyes in slits.

"Explain yourselves." She snarled at them both, boiling rage heating in her veins, the graveness of the situation venomous to her sanity.

Armin bit his lips, "Mikasa…" he said in a voice barely above a whisper. The boy scrambled up to her, clutching onto her sleeves as though holding for his dear life.

"Mikasa! You have to convince Eren to stop! He's going to die!" The raven-haired girl wrapped her arm around the boy's waist, as though comforting him, though her piercing vision never left Eren's face.

Eren's turquoise eyes burned with guilt as he turned away from her, his frown deepening.

"What are you planning?" She snarled, taking a step towards him with Armin still clinging on to her.

With newly burning determination, Eren finally turned his face to her, his eyes still lingering with guilt, but not remorse.

"I'm going to fill the gap in Wall Maria." He said, his voice much calmer than how he looked. Eren braced himself, clenching his fists beside him, as though preparing for battle.

Mikasa's eye twitched, "and how, do you plan to do that?" Her voice shook the slightest, she tightened her grip on Armin's back, all her being focused on not completely going berserk.

For a second, Eren's determination faltered at his foster sister's menacing glare and at his own uncertainness. "I'm going to … run to the wall…"

Almost instantly, Mikasa felt her jaw drop. She tossed Armin aside, lashing him at a near chair and stalked to Eren, her indignation taking over her usual calm herself.

"Listen here now," She grabbed Eren by the collar with one hand and lifted him to his toes, "those soldiers did not risk their lives protecting you from titans for you to commit suicide by charging into Titans." She growled in a low voice, wishing nothing more than to rip the perseverance out of Eren's soul.

Oh, if looks could kill…

"Why can't you open your damn eyes for a second and see the world outside of your mind for a second?" She screamed at him, blinking away the tears that were threatening to surface. Stunned, Eren simply stared at her, mouth hanging open and eyes wide.

"You can be perfectly wonderful, all your movements might work, but you're still going to _die!_ Don't you understand? We have sacrificed so much… for you… why must you always push yourself into … such _impossible_ measures?" She let go of him, her previous anger melting into something else, but she fought it, it was not the time to falter her stance.

Mikasa hardened her stance and took a step back, her coal-dark orbs swirling with an emotion Eren have never seen before.

It scared him.

Before the two boys could say anything, a clean slap could be heard throughout the room, and Eren's head snapped to one side, an unmistakable redness forming on his face already.

Was it disappointment? Eren was not quite sure, but as Mikasa turned away, Eren could feel his own stomach fall, and a surge of sadness crept up his face. Incredulity at the fact that Mikasa could hit him. Thankful that she did not tell him to call off the plan, because if she did, he might really listen to her for once. Realization that the plan had sounded even more ridiculous than before now.

"I… I will try to attempt the thing that Annie did." He said loudly to her back, the gamble that they were placing for the plan to work.

Mikasa closed her eyes.

"Commander Irwin will be there… and Corporal Rivaille supported me with the plan… Mikasa, I think… I think it might work… I think I owe it to everyone that died for humanity's sake to give this a chance."

Within Mikasa's mind, she noted: Kill Rivaille when he's asleep… painfully.

Taking one last final glance into her foster brother's eyes, those bright turquoise orbs shined intensely at her, as though afraid for her disapproval.

Mikasa sighed, she can regret this alone later.

"Don't die. That's an order." She muttered.

(*)

"Tch, what?" Rivaille threw a glance at the potato-girl, taking his leg off the chair in front of him.

"It's… Mikasa, Sir."

Too arrogant to reply properly despite his curiosity, Rivaille settled with: "What, does she have even a bigger pole up her ass now?"

The corner of Sasha's lips twitched but for once, she left it be, "Please, Corporal, I haven't got any time." She whispered to him across the room urgently.

"Well then, spit it out." His calmness contrasted with her fidgety demeanor, and he suddenly wondered if he really wanted to know what she had to say.

The potato-girl bit down her lip, and Rivaille could not help but think how many times Mikasa's has been on hers…

"Sometimes… especially regarding Eren, Mikasa experiences… attacks." She said slowly, enunciating every syllable, her eyes darting at anywhere and everywhere except Rivaille, and beads of sweat started to form on her forehead and back.

"Attacks…" He repeated, no longer holding back on his interest.

Potato-girl nodded, a strange look in her eyes, "And… and I've been helping her to cope with these attacks…" she continued, a slow blush starting to smudge across her face as she stared at her feet and twiddled her fingers.

What happened as her words glided through Rivaille's ears was unspeakable. He almost felt relieved, though he was sure that was not quite it. Already having a general idea of what Sasha has to ask of him, if he were to do the act, he would at least prefer to not be a troublesome third man between the two ladies.

"How have you been doing that?" He wanted to smirk; the potato-girl's face had become a deep tomato red, and was practically fuming with heat.

"W-well, u-um, she… she kisses… me." She swallowed, each word was becoming softer, her throat was abnormally dry.

"Anything else you want to tell me?"

Exploding from embarrassment Sasha turned away from him to face the other side of the wall, flinging her arms up and down while she did quick jumping jacks.

"She touches me! Then she takes off my clothes! Then she touches me more!" She screamed at the wall, still jumping up and down while Rivaille's expression darkened.

"So what do you want me to do?" His eyes glinted in the dim lighting, stare boring into the bobbing woman.

Sensing his tone, Sasha stopped her jumping and stilled, turning slowly around to meet his gaze, this time with a determined expression.

"Sir! Please take my place for the time being while I am dispatched to the North Wall!" She bowed, dipping so deep that her ponytail hit the ground. She remained there, allowing Rivaille to examine her proposal, beads of sweat dripping down into her hairlines. The silky threads of hair that were too short to be tied back stuck to the sides of her face and neck while blood rushed to her head.

"Why should I? Do I look like a local whore to you?"

"No sir! But Mikasa's attacks aren't normal… if they aren't suppressed it would be bad… for her, but also the people around her!"

Rivaille tilted his head at the girl bowing in front of his feet, "Why not just ask the brats she's always with?"

Sasha squished her eyes close, thinking: _don't kill me, Mikasa_ "… because they absolutely must not know." She squeezed out, her voice tight and so low that Rivaille had to strain his ears to hear.

Arching an eyebrow, Rivaille stared at her, long and hard, his brain stuck with nowhere to function. Before he knew it, the answer had already fallen out of his lips, as though he always knew the decision would come.

"Tch, fine."

The effect was immediate, Sasha sagged to the ground like a potato sack, her face landing on Rivaille's foot.

"Fank yuu su mache, kapowal."

"Get up, you're slobbering up my boots." He frowned, taking a handkerchief from his coat pocket and tossing it to Sasha, who wiped her saliva up immediately.

"Just a few reminders," she said brightly, completely revived, "You _must not touch her during the attack._"

"… sir…"

Rivaille looked from the right to the left, his expression grim as usual.

"And… she must be the one to initiate it."

"Will you tell me why?" It was a question not worth asking, and sure enough, Sasha shook her head.

"The amount of treason you are committing is enough for me to slice your head off right here."

Sasha jolted, staring at the Corporal with wide, fearful chocolate eyes.

"M-my brother… had a similar condition… s-so I recognized it!"

Rivaille sighed, he gave up.

"Get out of my sight, brat."

For whatever reason it was that made him agree, it also unsettled his chest. Leaning back into his chair, he tilted back, staring up at the ceiling.

_What the hell did I get myself into?_

**A/N**

**Hi, I promise I'll check over this chapter as soon as I have time! So point out any grammar or whatever you can find!**

**Oh, and for guest: No, it's not supposed to be actually obvious, but I'm glad you caught up on that! I won't be revealing the whole thing quite yet, but you can keep guessing. It should become apparent to you quite soon! (Thought I'm thinking of keeping Levi and Eren in the dark just a little longer…**

**Thanks for the support! I'm not a kiss/heart/hug sending person… so… I'll just make a Rikasa (Mivaille?) cover for you!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3 is taking too long to write… I'll write 4 first…

*swears profusely * hello, I promise to hell and back that I will edit this chapter next week. Seriously.

Warning: this is why this is rated 'M'

4

Mikasa leaned forward, shifting her goggles with her right hand while tugging on the reigns with her other, feeling the wind falling through her short hair. At that moment, she could understand why Hanji always wore goggles; it was nice to be able to see clearly on horseback without having to squint.

"We keep going straight." She heard Rivaille shout beside her to the two others, whose names she now know as Jacques and Pedro.

Pedro laughed, he always laughed, except by now, she recognized that it was the same laugh that the soldiers gave after their comrades died. The same crazed tinkering noise that mothers cackled after their children vanished in the mouth of the titans. It was broken.

And it hurt her ears to listen to it.

She wished he could shut up.

On the right side of her field of vision, she saw a red signal flare up into the sky. She frowned. Eren should be not too far behind her yet there have been no signals from the back, casting a look at Rivaille, she pulled on her reigns and turned her horse around. Sure enough, before she could finish her U-turn, a flash of light blinded her, and Eren's roar surrounded her.

"Where do you think you're going?" Rivaille's hand closed upon hers, their horses side by side, though his voice still sounded distant.

"I'm going to find Eren!" She screamed through the harsh wind blowing her voice away. The sky was gray and rumbling, she wished the lightning could help kill a couple of titans, though the last thing she ever relied on was help from the heavens, since that never seemed to end well.

That's right, she had to rely on her own power.

Snapping her arm away from Rivaille, she leaned forward and charged, swiftly moving against the wind that lashed against her face.

Annoyed, Rivaille rolled his eyes, "oh, what the heck." He muttered to himself and signaled Jacques (the tall one) and Pedro (the blonde dipshit) to continue moving without him. Like hell if he was going to lose another squad member, for Mikasa alone counted for a hundred ordinary soldiers, and a hundred ordinary squad members were a lot. Besides, Jacques and Pedro were more than capable of surviving, the only reason he even chose them was because unlike his old squad members, these two both knew how bad it could get… and that when it seems like it can't get any worse, shit happens and it does.

It never ends, and that's what they know.

He ignored the droplets that were beginning to fall from above and followed the ends of the red scarf flapping helplessly in the wind. Perhaps the reason he was following her was even more than that, but somewhere told him he had to make sure she was okay, and that she was going to come back alive.

He wondered which part of him made him this weak, and he hated it.

His attention drifted to the titan in front of him, Eren, who kicked a titan out of his way and continued to the woods towards the wall. Mikasa followed relentlessly behind him, her 3D maneuver gear at the ready so that as soon as she hit the trees, she could rely on it instead of running helplessly on the ground.

Without hesitation, she threw herself into the air, swinging along the branches, travelling gracefully, twirling and spinning in mid-air. At that moment, Rivaille could comprehend the reason the other trainees looked at her with eyes of awe. She reminded him of himself, though their method was perhaps slightly different. Hers was more gracefully where his was sharper, though with practice, he could imagine her becoming one of the best of the best of all the soldiers the legion would have ever seen.

Rivaille twitched, placing his weight on his leg instead, his bad leg still felt tender, and like hell if he was going to break it again. Despite being injured, he caught up with her easily, and together, they weaved through the rain mixed with their own sweat and adrenaline, following behind Eren along with six other soldiers.

"What the hell…" Mikasa muttered, her eyes opening wide at the countless number of titans flooding the opened hole that the colossal titan had kicked open.

"RETREAT!" A few soldiers shouted, staring in horror as the numerous titans stampeding through the opening, who were already catching their comrades.

Rivaille gritted his teeth, all the soldiers were leaving, yet Eren moved on, and therefore Mikasa followed.

"TELL HIM TO GET OUT OF THERE!" He roared at Mikasa, who spun around in mid-air and landed on Eren's shoulder. He himself sliced a good chunk of flesh off the necks of a few 5-metre classes

Rivaille swerved, spinning himself to the left and cringed when he felt his leg giving in. He turned and landed on a building, gritting his teeth and cursing his own limb for being so useless.

He watched with stoic grace as Mikasa spun herself around to cleaning butcher away the necks of two titans and Eren kicking away a small one and smashing another in the face, successfully breaking a building in half.

Still, there were just too many.

Rivaille jumped swinging himself behind them to cut themselves a path back. Mikasa wasn't going to leave Eren, and Eren was too big to just leave.

A titan blocked his path, and for a second, a coincidental sting shot up his leg, and for the slightest fraction of a second, he hesitated-

The next thing he knew was sharp pain against his leg and himself tumbling out of the air, half of his 3D MG in pieces.

"Shi-"

It was over, he was going to die.

Rough arms grabbed him around the waist, unfortunately placing his leg in an uncomfortable position and he winced at the pain while beads of cold sweat emerged from his forehead.

"We're leaving." A cold voice said, loud against his ears but muffled by the pain.

Rivaille sighed, the pain was taking away his consciousness, and he allowed himself to drift away…

(*)

The first thing he noticed was numbness.

He turned to his side, noticing Mikasa's back to him while she faced the other side.

He let out a mental sigh of relief.

It took him a second to realize that there was something making a soft hissing noise on the other side of her. Rivaille shifted his head to take a better look, but all he saw was soft smoke.

"What, are you cooking corn there?" He muttered, his voice horrendously hoarse.

Stiffening at the sound of his voice, she shifted in her seat so he could get a better look, and Rivaille couldn't help but take a sharp intake of breath.

Eren on the bed, peacefully quiet, all of his limbs cut off and smoking gently.

"Care to tell me what happened?" He asked, his voice now back to normal, though slightly more constrained than normal.

She was quiet for a only a moment, and he allowed that, "the back-up came and had to cut him out, needless to say, they didn't do a very good job." She added, resentment clearly seething from her words.

Rivaille's gaze darted to her hands, which were crossed behind her, and both were clenched so tight, that her knuckles were dead white.

He frowned, uneasiness in his guts.

Rivaille followed her, limping hideously, but keeping up with her speed.

They rushed through the rain and into another building, both soaking though neither cared, and Mikasa banged against one of the doors furiously, Rivaille noticed it was Sasha Braus's, and it became that what he predicted was true.

With what little strength he had, he pushed her in and closed the door behind her, potato-girl's words darting fervently in his mind.

"Get out unless you know what's good for you." She snarled, her voice low. With all the strength she could muster, she brought her two trembling hands behind her. With wild eyes, she inspected Rivaille, _a broken leg… this would be easy_…

"Get out." She said again, this time more urgent.

Her brain was processing the information in front of her. All she needed to do was use her speed and weight to her advantage, if she could pin him down after swerving behind him, then-

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

"Shut up." Rivaille leaned against his door, he pulled his arm behind him and locked it swiftly with a small_ click._ "I've been through more pounds of shit than the grains of salt you've eaten in your life. I think I should be able to handle you." He muttered, more to himself than her.

Sighing at her lack of movement, and somewhat dazed, somewhat confused expression, he started to move towards her, his heart pounding abnormally loud. Out of habit, he rubbed his hands onto his soaking pants, disgusted at the rain water.

"Don't you understand? Your girlfriend sold you out." He narrowed his eyes, the fact that he could not see her expression unsettled him, "so use me to your benefit."

With little hesitation and a twitch of her fingertip, Mikasa lunged at him while ripping off the red scarf tied to her neck, giving in to his taunts like a lioness with an injured rabbit, tackling him against the door and smashed their jaws together. Despite the impact, Rivaille was surprised his lips were not bruised.

Slowly, she started moving herself against him, her hands still clenched firmly behind her, the only thing that connected them was their lips.

Her movement was intoxicating, the kiss was dry, and Rivaille wasn't going to succumb so easily. The last thing he wanted was to lose control.

Rivaille gasped, Mikasa had opened her lips and sunk her teeth onto his lower lips. He tasted metal along with his own saliva, his reflexes told him to back up, but the door behind him held him still. Mikasa's soft, yet unbelievable rough lips lost contact with his for a second, and in another second, he felt her tongue trace his wound, tasting his blood. The seconds dragged out into minutes, and soon, Rivaille couldn't tell if they had been at it for hours, days, or maybe even years. For all he knew, Pixis could have already eradicated the titans and forgotten about him.

Steadily, Mikasa's body relaxed on top of the little Corporal's, she moved her tongue across the flesh behind his front teeth, it tickled, and as much as he didn't want to, he gasped. His mouth started to feel numb, but it was a bizarre kind of numbness, one that he never felt before. Finally, her tongue wrapped itself around Rivaille's tugging on it, massaging him like a diversion while Mikasa's hands slid from her back to Rivaille's arms, and then over his chest, expertly undoing the clasps on his velvet green hood, then proceeding to his jacket.

She leans forward, deepening their kiss, causing Levi to lose his balance as his bad leg gave out and the they fall on the floor together, Mikasa's thighs on either side of his legs.

Vaguely, Rivaille noted that she was undoing all the leather clasps and letting them fall onto the floor, freeing his shirt.

Dragging her hand down the multitude of buttons down his wet shirt, she placed the other in his hair, pulling the stray pieces back harshly, bringing his face up.

Rivaille was not inexperienced in kissing, it was true that he was not experienced either, though he never expected a kiss could become so intoxicating that his consciousness would melt around him while he succumbed into Mikasa. How did she learn to kiss like that? Was she a genius in this too? Thinking hurt his brain, so he simply stopped doing so, feeling only her lips against his, her tongue entwined with his, and her fingers now tugging his obscenely soaked shirt down his arms.

Rivaille tenses as Mikasa starts to move over to his chest, tweaking his nipples with her cold hands, he shivered, and vaguely wondered if it was a left over habit from Sasha. Noticing his own pants into her mouth, he tried to obstruct them by straining his stomach muscles, but Mikasa is relentless, testing him further, until an unmistakable grunt passed his lips, and he felt her lips turn up slightly against his. Mikasa was all around him, he couldn't think about anything but Mikasa. Her heat radiating from her mouth and the bitter alluring coldness from her skin, her tongue invading his lips, and her hands moving from his chest to his abdomen, pausing over each muscle. Rivaille found the procedure was painfully slow.

He was in desperate need of oxygen due to the lightness in his head; mainly due to the fact that her kiss was so mind blowing that he was already half-hard. Kisses weren't supposed to be like this, they were meant to be sweeter, and a bit of a tease, but for a kiss to get him _this_ worked up? That was not good, because it was addictive.

He jolted when Mikasa's hands moved passed his hips and began undoing the straps on his thighs and the unbuckling his belt. Rivaille panicked, he knew he shouldn't let Mikasa take his pants and boots off. Though he was dissolving in sweet pleasure, and at that moment, he didn't mind leaving his pride aside and his body in Mikasa's care.

He hadn't really attempted it, but his hands moved by themselves, snaking around Mikasa's back. Before he could tell what had happened in the moment of sweet lust and soft pants, he found himself tossed against the ground with his arm pinned against him and a surge of pain shooting up his leg.

"Ugh!" He grunted, his cheek against the cold floor.

There was a gasp, and he felt himself being released and turned back onto his back.

"Corporal!" Mikasa gasped with surprised as she lifted herself from his body swiftly, "I…" She lifted him from the floor while he grunted with pain.

"I don't need your help." He muttered, completely irritated that he lost control of himself.

So of course, being Mikasa, she let go, and he fell straight down on his bad leg.

"Tssssss…"

Mikasa almost smiled, heck, she did smile, "If I am no longer needed, should I leave?"

Rivaille winced in pain and glowered at Mikasa's amused half-smile with pain, "now, would be a good time to help me." He strained out, his stomach muscles tensing up so hard that Mikasa could see his muscles move on his naked torso.

She shrugged, "Of course, Heichou."

The two laced their arms around each other, Mikasa supporting him easily from underneath his armpits, almost lifting him off his feet. Gingerly, they made their way towards the bed, and Mikasa set him down, lifting his legs off the ground and onto the bed, making sure to move as little of his newly broken leg as possible.

Rivaille looked away from her, annoyed, though the fact that his underwear was soaking the bed covers irritated him even more, he motioned her to find him fresh clothes.

"Turn around." He ordered while he shifted out of his remaining piece of clothing and whisking on the new articles, feeling calmer now that he was less grimy.

"Why do you dislike me, brat?"

Mikasa leaned her head back, meeting Rivaille's aloof gaze with her own apathetic one, the man was unbuttoning his pajama shirt at a painfully slow pace.

"I don't dislike you, I detest you." She stated, her voice ringing around Sasha's room like a whip.

Rivaille stared at her, putting his pajama top back onto the bed and limped towards her, "Why is that?" He enquired softly, making his way towards the raven-haired girl. Curiosity was poking at his sides, it didn't trouble him, not really, despite the fact that everybody knew Mikasa was not fond of what he did to Eren nobody could have guessed that she had _hated_ her superior, for it was obvious why he had done it. Mikasa was not stupid, she would have guessed the reason if the blonde kid did not announce it first.

Mikasa tilted her head, not breaking eye contact, her inky pools of night unreadable.

"You hurt Eren." She noted simply, a dim accusatory light in her starless eyes. Rivaille stopped in his tracks, the girl looked ready to break his neck. He arched an eyebrow and stared back at her.

Sensing his unspoken words, Mikasa smiled at him faintly, her eyes glowing dangerously, "is that a problem, Corporal?"

They lived in a world in which death could occur at any moment, just being alive would make anyone thankful. Mikasa's accusation confused him; he didn't understand what could make her so resentful towards him. She didn't have to like him, no, that was not a part of her duties, but comradeship rarely worked with animosity.

If she hated him so much, why would she save him?

Besides, he didn't need the girl to 'like' him. Rivaille never cared for those things, but her words stung him more than they should, and he wondered why, but discarded the thought after taking a step closer to her.

With a dry hand, he whisked away the wet hair covering her bare neck and she stiffened at his touch.

"Is Eren the only thing in the world to you?"

She blinked, "No," she chewed her words slowly, a slight frown between her eyebrows, "I care about Armin too, and Sasha, and Krista…"

She paused, pausing her wandering orbs to meet his, "I wouldn't want you to die either, or Commander Irvin." She added confidently, recoiling away from his touch.

"I take my leave, thank you, Corporal."

She saluted, then took a step back, grabbed the soaking scarf from Rivaille's desk and twirled it around her neck.

As she reached the door, she stopped, her fingers almost touching the handle.

"Corporal, do you know the feeling of dangling on a single thread of hope? Beneath you is nothing but an abyss of darkness, and you hold on, because the abyss is scary… it is scary because you have had a taste of it before… your thread is so fragile, but it's also warm and beautiful. It is your last piece of reason to keep living, the only thing keeping you from falling into something worse than despair. That's what I'm protecting right now. So no, Eren isn't my whole world, Corporal. I am more selfish than you make me out to be."

She rested her hand on the handle and pulled it open, a small sigh escaping her lips, she pulled the damp scarf over her nose and closed her eyes.

"I'm not sure what kind of shitty thread it is, but if it breaks, I'd weave a whole bunch more."

Mikasa froze and turned around, a sad smile lighting the corner of her lips, "It's not that easy, not for me, Corporal."

And she disappeared, leaving a small thud as the door closed.

A small pool of water left over from her scarf on the desk.

Give me all the mistakes you catch so I can correct it! I really appreciate it!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Phoenix

5

Tired…

Hanji smirked knowingly at Rivaille, who tried to ignore her by settling on an annoyed look and lying through his teeth.

"I bit myself last night when I was eating my dinner."

"Right… right…"

"And I scratched myself when I was bathing." He added, deciding against smacking the very enthusiastic woman.

"Uh-huh…"

Swearing lightly, Rivaille did smack her in the head.

"Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun, Levi, you deserve it." She winked and gave him a thumbs-up, eyes twinkling behind her goggles.

Deciding to ignore her, Rivaille slapped a hand over the very obvious red suck mark on his neck, courtesy of Mikasa.

_He_ was the one who usually gave the hickeys, and _he_ was usually the one on top kissing his partner's breath away, and _he_ was supposed to be the one that remained calm and cool while his charge writhed and begged beneath him.

Sadly, and happily, his pride was the only one that was hurt.

In the morning, Mikasa had saluted him with her usual dark grey eyes and cold demeanor, nothing and nobody could ever guess what they had done the night before.

Though after she left him half-hard and thoroughly unfulfilled, he felt strangely betrayed and empty. Of course, he kicked those feelings to the curb, like shit if he was going to let such useless sentiments get the better of him.

"It was the new recruit, wasn't it?" Hanji remarked, a knowing smirk on her face as she glanced out the window.

Levi spit some tea out.

Finally deciding that he could no longer ignore the annoying woman, Rivaille turned to face her with dark, lazy eyes, "and if it was?"

The other's grin widened, "Hey, I'm not judgin', you know how I want to see up the-"

With a grimace, the little corporal stuffed his fist into the other's mouth, his frown carving deep crescents in the area between his brows, "I don't want to know your fetishes with your titan-toys. Keep your heart-thumping love stories to yourself, you freaking abnormal."

And with that, he kicked over his chair with his un-fractured leg and scowled at everyone who was with in three-metre radius of him, casting an aura even the soldiers who just came back from the recent failure of an expedition couldn't ignore.

(*)

Mikasa Ackerman was a mess.

Eren seemed to be recovering fine. His limbs were growing at least.

Yet, she, of all the people… _she_ freaked out and jumped her higher-up. Sure, she did try to warn him. Nonetheless, it was … _Levi Heichou_.

She was dead.

So damn dead.

Shaking her mane of ebony hair, she walked on. It wasn't as though her position as a soldier was really affected. In fact, by any means, if it were with anyone else it probably would have done her some good. The fact that Levi was rumoured to be gay helped as well.

Well, she would just have to put it behind her and hope that no unsuspecting Armins would walk up and say that she was acting weird and somehow deduce she and the Corporal had done this and that together.

Oh yeah, those were one pair of ears she hoped the information would not reach.

"Mi-Mikasa… you elbow's in the butter bowl." Armin whispered urgently, a concerned look in his azure eyes.

Blinking, Mikasa looked down and found that indeed, her elbow _was_ in the butter bowl. Taking it out calmly, she placed the bowl further into the table, as though to say it was the bowl's fault for being too close to her.

"You know…" Armin began hesitantly, biting his lip and shuffling his fingers.

Mikasa tensed.

He couldn't have found out…

Oh hell… no…

"I know that you're concerned about Eren, but mind yourself too, Mikasa. It would be a problem if one of our strongest soldiers had to be absent from duty because of malnutrition." He smiled up at her shyly from under his lashes, placing his apple on her plate.

Touched (though no one can really understand that, since she has the same dead expression as always), Mikasa patted Armin's hand in awkward reassurance, "thank you, Armin."

Jean 'accidentally' threw a fork across the table that narrowly missed Armin's head and handed Mikasa his own apple, mumbling something about hating those 'damn round red things'.

(*)

Levi was growing restless.

He hadn't actually finished his job the night before. In fact, he most likely alarmed her enough that she probably won't come back to him.

That's a problem in two major ways.

First of all, the Garrison is still in desperate need of hands, so Sasha most likely wouldn't be back any time soon.

Second of all, one of the strongest soldiers exploding in their time of need was not something that he wanted to take responsibility to explain. Hell, he probably couldn't explain. He was already crippled bad enough, losing someone that was worth a hundred ordinary solider could mean a bad blow to the Recon Corps.

He had to convince Mikasa to go to his room.

Yet, for some reason, "Damn it brat, use me for sexual tension." Doesn't seem to work very well.

Levi slammed his forehead on his desk, the rumble causing a china cup to shake dangerously. How unsightly, he though wryly, during this time where they just lost countless, gallant soldiers fighting for humanity, he was thinking about sneaking a young, _underage_ girl into his room…

At this moment, a rapid, desperate knock resounded across the room, and Levi raised his head just as the door burst open.

"Sir! Eren Jaëger, of the 104th trainees squad has just regained consciousness. Yet… he claims to have no recollection of anything since the Wall Maria incident until now!"

**These things are so short they're like drabbles… I'm so sorry I can't find it in me to make longer, steamier, fluffier chapters. Actually, this is a step up for me already since it's not angst. **

**Hell, this chapter is lacking feels *****swears profusely *, the next chapter will be better. (Liar)**

**I can't seem to bring myself to write anything decent that's not angst. I tried to start a humour LeviMika fic recently. I can already see it crashing and burning. **


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